After five days of continuous sunshine, I’m finally ready to declare that summer has arrived in the UK.
Boo has just broken up from school, and I’m working like a crazed demon to organise everything we’ll need for our holiday. On the horizon is a solid 4 weeks with my family. I really can’t wait. Usually my husband and I are like two passing ships. He works nights and I work days. Holidays are precious. But place two obstinate and opinionated people together 24/7 and there’s sure to be a few fireworks. 
So this year, I thought I’d give my husband this helpful guide to interpreting the things I say. It might help him avoid an argument before it starts. Enjoy.
| No. | No. |
| Yes. | No. |
| Maybe. | No. |
| I’m sorry. | You’ll be sorry. |
| Whatever. | !*@% You! |
| We need… | I want… |
| Do what you want. | You’ll pay for this later. |
| Do you love me? | I’m going to ask for something expensive. |
| How much do you love me? | I’ve done something you’re going to be annoyed about. |
| I’m not upset. | Of course I’m upset, you idiot! |
| Let’s be romantic and turn out the lights. | I’m feeling fat. |
| That’s okay. | I’m going to think long and hard about how to make you pay for your mistake. |
| Are you listening to me? | Too late, you’re dead! |
| I’m sorry. | You’ll be sorry. |
And next week it’s my husband’s turn…What Men Really Mean When They Say…
My thanks to www.angelfire.com who list many of these examples and more on their page ‘What Women Say and What They Really Mean’.
I need to show my boyfriend that list. He’s bad at translating my crazy
Men and women do seem to speak a different language.
Enjoy your holiday. I love the list, especially “Let’s be romantic and turn out the lights =I’m feeling fat.” So true!
Yep, the correct lighting is key. Men like to see everything! Woman prefer mood lighting – dim enough to hide the cellulite.
ONG! Hilarious! I’m borrowing that list for sure! Enjoy your holidays! BTW – I don’t want to hear any ‘Husband Goes Missing While On Holiday’ news from across the pond in the next few weeks! Cheers and salute!
OMG! Hilarious! I’m borrowing that list for sure! Enjoy your holidays! BTW – I don’t want to hear any ‘Husband Goes Missing While On Holiday’ news from across the pond in the next few weeks! Cheers and salute!
Hehe, I’ll try not to loose him France.
Honestly, I didn’t mean to post twice (now three times if you count this!) Something went screwy! I’m sorry. I know, I know – I’ll be sorry! Grin.
No worries. You can post as many times as you like, Sharon.
lol . . . small world. I think you’re right. Most of us do mean exactly that.
Sometimes we do, sometimes we don’t. Women’s prerogative.
Let me just get those made up on a card.
Ha! Good idea, Derek.